life, for the first time in a long time, is W O N D E R F U L! for the past few W E E K S Scott and I have gotten along G R E A T! my business is up, the quality of tricks seems to be greatly improved… lots of repeating clients whom i greatly enjoy. Scott and i are about to set out on a new business venture together.
LIFE IS SO GOOD!
i know i haven’t been a very good blogger… not a single post in all of three months… i’ve got excuses… i hope you will forgive me anyway…
i spent some time without access to the blog due to some technical issues that may or may not be cleared up now. time will tell. my whole life seems to have been on hold. i’m hardly working… i get plenty of requests for sessions, but i haven’t been able to want to screen andy new clients as i should. to be completely honest, i’ve been ignoring emails from returning clients as much as i have been ignoring prospects lately… so when i say that i’m hardly working, that means i’ve been turning about 2 tricks a week (on a “busy” week).
since i am not answering the mail much, i keep finding myself in a bind where i have to catch a trick to make the rent or get some food or whatever can’t wait. by the time i reach that point, i’ve blown off my regulars or my returning clients to the point that they are all unavailable when I need to see them, which leaves me dependant upon guys i’ve never met which means screening is in order.
i’m somewhat ashamed to say that i haven’t been screening my prospects. by the time i find myself in dire financial straights there is no time to track down other escorts and ask about the guy. naturally, i try not to let anyone know i’m not checking out the info, but i have been scheduling about 9 out of every 10 guys who email me without any screening at all.
i’m depressed… scott is still here… i really messed up our life together and i keep letting him give me another chance to be with him, but i know that there is too much water under the bridge. i know we will never be like we were before. i know that staying together will only be more misery for us both… he told me two days ago that he will be moving out on friday (two days from now). we’ve spoken, just barely, since he said that. he hasn’t retracted that declaration, so i believe that it is true. friday he will be gone. i have no idea what will happen to me….
i’m a little depressed right now… i don’t think i can write any more for now… i will try again later.
i’ve been out here not more than three times since my last “regular” run-through to check stats, comments, etc. on valentine’s day. i have to admit that i am shocked and truly flattered that so many of you are still looking in on me from time to time. by your dedication, i am humbled. thank you.
i knew that the “honeymoon” phase would have to end someday, but now “someday” is a day in the past instead of the future… a year and a half gone already.
in the beginning, everything was sex… sex was our only entertainment for months… sex was the first thing we did every day, every lunch break, the first thing after work, then again after dinner and as much as we could during the night. i know it sounds a bit like bragging, but what’s not worth bragging about? if we were within feet of each other, there was sex in the making, sex in action or we were catching our breath for another round of sex. it’s kind of funny that i remember thinking then that i wasn’t going to keep up with his appetite, but i gave it my best shot. when we talk about that time, he says he remembers it the other way around. we were each pushing the other harder and farther and over more boundaries just by trying to keep up with the other. it was kinky. it was perverted. it was wonderful.
i was riding high on that sexual wave when i decided to stop dancing and start taking escort work again. i had told him very early on that i had been a prostitute in the past and thought that since he was so cool about it (and so sexually open) that it wouldn’t be a big deal. it was a big deal.
as he came around to the idea (and as i took unfair advantage of his “hooker fantasy” confession) and i started working more and more, his confidence was constantly under attack… “MORE Magnums?!?”…
at some point we just stopped having sex. i don’t even remember it tapering off. it just stopped. now the frequency is at a rate of about one attempt a week, but i’m certain that we both want it daily. we just don’t know how to get to it.
he thinks that i get a decent amount of release at work, but i rarely have intercourse or accept oral when i am with my clients these days. i’m so desperate for sex with him that i don’t want to “waste” any desire or need on a trick. i can’t even manage to escape into the “hooker’s trance” that Compartments explains so well. i just want to be out of session every second that i am in session so i can be with Scott, but when i am with him, i can’t manage to make him believe that i actually want sex (or want it with him).
on the occasions that we do have sex, i am so pent up that i completely loose control of myself. even in the act, he believes that it is just that… an act… and he’s got no interest in being another of my tricks. our encounters usually end with his total frustration and my slurred, dick-drunk apology for not having more stamina as i pass out, completely spent and satisfied.
then i wake up with guilt.
i can’t think of much i wouldn’t be willing to trade for an upgrade to a “so-so” sex life.
on that note… i think it’s about time for me to try to sneak up on him again while he’s sleeping.
there are only two things that i can think of that i wish to acquire that i can’t pay for with cash out of my own pocket. what two things might i be coveting? in a word:
i know that there are men out there who “sponsor” breast augmentation surgery for lady-friends, but who are they and where are they? i’ve discussed the subject with many of the tricks that visit me, but the general mood from them is that my little tits are better than anything man-made. obviously, they don’t want to insult me; even though i’m a “sure thing” they don’t want to risk being cut off from the nookie. my clientelle isn’t likely to be stocked with gentlemen willing to part with cash for the opportunity to spend some quality time with a nice pair of falsies they financed themselves, because those guys are selecting ladies to visit who already sport more generous upper-body figures… likewise, the gentlemen who do visit me tend to admire smallish breasts (such as mine) as well as (or instead of) the busty girls.
what i want to know is this: how do i go about seeking out a sponsor for the enhancement of my modest bust?
don’t get this simple question confused with cyber-begging… i would be more than happy to grant visitation time with the puppies (worth their actual value) to return the favor.
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e x p e r i e n c e d…
